nothing makes sense

Nothing makes sense anymore.
My work ... has no reason to go on.
My days are endless and pointless.
I fall through them, I fall through the minutes and the hours,
without sleeping but never awake.

She is in someone else's arms and I could write the saddest words
but I cannot write and I cannot feel sad tonight.
I wander in the darkness, I wander alone -
always alone. I don't want to be here.
I don't want to be alone ... but I am.

I am, and that is all. I exist. Meaningless.
Sleepless. Thoughtless. Without passion.
Without love. My time is not my own
it belongs to the darkness and I am just renting it,
every second costs me a piece of my soul -

every hour of waking, every hour of not dreaming,
every moment of darkness, of pointlessness,
of bitterness, of loneliness, of pain,
makes no sense to me.
Nothing makes sense anymore.

She is someone else's tonight
she was never mine.
I used to love her - perhaps she loved me,
perhaps not. It does not matter. It is
meaningless. It was meaningless. Love is meaningless.

I fell in love. I fell for her. I fell into her arms.
I fell through her. I fell from her.
I fell. Falling, always falling.
And always we are broken from the fall.
But falling makes no sense at all.

She is gone and I am alone.
She has fallen away and I have fallen down.
The darkness comes and I lie broken -
I lie to myself saying that there is hope,
pretending that she will come to save me

but she wont. She never comes.
My hope is meaningless, my
hope will crush me. It will kill me
because it does not make sense.
Nothing makes sense anymore.